I read the Sarah Young devotional this morning and Isaiah 40:31 was one of the verses. The whole theme of waiting is hard for me. In a contradictory kind of way. If you know me at all, or are starting to get a glimpse of me through reading my blog, you may have noticed that I can sometimes reside on both sides of the coin.
So, even though I am bad at procrastination, I am still impatient about getting started once my mind is made up to do something. Once I come to a decision, I want the results now. Once I get started on a project, I may work until midnight or later so I can finish. I have a hard time slowing down and enjoying the process.
You can imagine that I might go a little stir crazy waiting on answers to where God is leading. Sometimes, I think maybe there is something that I’m not getting. Maybe, the waiting is over and I just haven’t’ read the memo yet. There could be a lot of truth in those scenarios, but there could also be another reason.
Maybe, I haven’t yet learned what the waiting is teaching me. Could it be that in the waiting is where we learn how to live?
Waiting teaches us to trust in even the most difficult of circumstances. When you are living on savings and you know it won’t last forever you have to choose to worry about the future or trust that God has a plan for your provision. I have been saying for two years that God has a plan. I’m still not sure exactly what that plan is. But, I know he has one.
Almost two years ago we made a decision to move back to my hometown to be near my parents who were going through some health issues. My husband was finishing his dissertation preparing to graduate. We knew it would be at least a year before we had any real income. We naively thought that once he was finished (May 2013) that the job offers would be there. He has invested a lot of time in applying for positions and networking with others. He has stayed busy with his music, but not in a solid income generating kind of way. I have constantly told him that God has a plan. Even when doubts knock loud on the door of my soul, I still believe God has a plan.
The waiting is hard because you feel like you may not be accomplishing anything of worth. It is hard because you worry that others may be judging you for the decisions you have made. I still know the decision to move was the right one. I have no regrets. And, for the most part I have learned not to worry about what others think. But, still, there are days you feel low in spirit because life seems to have stopped spinning in your corner of the world. You realize that your dreams and plans may have to change. You may have to open your heart to new desires.
Psalm 37:4 says to “take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I believe that means I am to open my heart to him freely and allow him to decide what those desires are. I truly believe that if we are waiting on him, he will give us the desires that are best for us and if we are willing, he will allow us to pursue those in the best way possible.
His ways are always best. I have found myself lately asking him to give us his best, not what we think is best. We had plans, they may still line up with God’s plans. They may not. He may totally change our plans into something even better. We have to be willing to wait on his timing and we have to be open to a change of heart that only he can perform.
Is it possible that until we learn the lessons in the waiting, we can’t move forward? It has dawned upon me that only when I sink into the waiting and allow God to do his work in his time and accept his plan, will I be free to move forward. Moving forward may not look like what I had imagined, but if it’s God’s plan, it will be even better. The question I have to ask myself is, am I willing to learn and change in the waiting?
What are your thoughts? I am not an expert, but I know the theme of waiting has been a big part of my life the past couple of years. If God has us waiting, then there is a purpose and we need to discover that purpose. We need to allow the waiting to prepare us for the next part of the journey. With God, nothing is wasted, not even waiting.
Learning In The Waiting,