Writing

Comfort

~ Teresa ~ 6 Comments

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you…  Isaiah 66:13

woman with brown baby carrier and little kid in white jacket
Photo by Josh Willink on Pexels.com

Comfort is a lovely word.  A warm word.  I imagine comfort like a warm blanket shielding me from the cold. Comfort is the touch of a mother’s hand on a fevered brow.

Growing up in our family comfort was many times practical and extended when there was a need.  A warm washcloth washing our feet after we were already in bed, mending a torn item, rubbing our aching legs, praying over a hurt.  Mom had the gifts of mercy and service.  Her love language was definitely acts of service. She was a natural born caregiver and was in her element when ministering to the need of someone else.

Even after the Alzheimer’s slowed her down she still had that instinct to comfort others. Not too long before she passed away I was staying with my parents for a few days.  Mom and I were sitting on the couch side by side.  My arm was aching as it does so often with the MCTD, she reached over and rubbed my arm.  She sensed my discomfort and wanted to take care of me.  It was a sweet gesture.  Sometimes she would come near and pat my head, partly because she needed physical touch but also because she wanted to provide comfort.  That was what she knew to do.

How many times over the past few weeks have I wished for one more pat on the head, one more arm rub, one more hug, one more time to sit side by side on the couch and feel her warmth.  The last Sunday before we took her to Hospice on Monday, she had been sitting on the back porch with my Dad.  I looked out the door and she was leaning over on his shoulder napping peacefully.  It was a beautiful picture of love and comfort.

In our deepest hurt scripture tells us that just as a mother comforts her child, so God will comfort us.  I’m holding to that promise these days more than ever.

Grace for the journey

PS: My Mom was the heart of our home.  Click here to read a poem and tribute I shared a few years ago on Mother’s Day.

Come back tomorrow for more of the journey?  Just a reminder that I usually post later in the day. Clicking on the ladybug graphic will take you to the first page in this series with links to the daily posts. Thanks for reading!

Blank Square Pin (1)

Weekend Blessing

~ Teresa ~ 1 Comment

But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31 KJV

silhouette of bird above clouds
Photo by Flo Maderebner on Pexels.com

I remember a song from my childhood youth group based on Isaiah 40:31, Teach Me, Lord.  It was one of the songs that I sang to Mom.  It was one of her favorite scriptures.  I watched her live out this scripture.  She was a doer, but in living life, she learned to wait on the Lord.  She had tremendous faith in his provision for everything including strength for the weary.  She was a prayer warrior and knowing she was praying for me was a great encouragement because I knew her prayers were accompanied by an unrelenting faith that God would answer in his time.

I witnessed her faith in praying for healing, salvation, safety and many other things on behalf of her children as well as others.  She had an expectation that God would hear and that he would provide. Even as the Alzheimers ravaged her, she still clung to her faith.  She would sometimes tell me she wanted to see Jesus and now she has.

She prayed many prayers and even though she is now in heaven, I believe that her prayers are still relevant. God remembers her prayers and he knows which ones still need to be answered and they will be in his time.

My prayer for you is that you will wait upon the Lord for renewed strength; that he will raise you on Eagles wings and that you won’t become weary in doing life but trust in his timing for all things.

Grace and Strength for the journey,

Teresa

PS – I hope you don’t mind that I combined Saturday and Sunday this week.  I am a little weary this weekend and need some extra rest.  Looking forward to the day when I can walk and not faint.

scan0045.2
Mom at the Henry Ford museum in Detroit, Michigan on a trip she and Dad took. She thought it would be fun to “ride” the bike. She was always up for a little adventure.

 

Come back Monday for more of the journey?  Just a reminder that I usually post later in the day. Clicking on the ladybug graphic will take you to the first page in this series with links to the daily posts. Thanks for reading!

Blank Square Pin (1)

 

Simple Pleasures

~ Teresa ~ 3 Comments

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

Psalm 23:1

IMG_20181012_140133830
picture of a fence post on a country road near Shelbyville, KY. I have a thing for fence posts.

Today was for living and finding memories in everyday moments.

I mentioned on Day 9 that I thought I’d find an Apple Orchard and buy a bag of Apples in memory of my Mom.  I did just that today.  They did not have Cortland’s but there was a nice variety and we did a mixed bag of Jonagold, Winesap and Ruby Mac.  We came home and did a taste test.  The Ruby Mac was our favorite and reminded me slightly of the Cortland’s that Mom used to buy. Tart with a hint of sweet, kind of like Mom herself. She would have loved being part of the tasting.

Part of the joy in finding an Orchard was getting to drive in the country.  One of our favorite things as a family was taking drives.  We’d roam all the back roads happy as larks. I know Mom would have loved our adventure on the way to Mulberry Orchard in Shelbyville, Kentucky.

Next, on our out and about excursion we stopped in at Goodwill to see if we could find a bargain.  We found a couple pair of slacks for Rocky.  Shopping at the Goodwill also brings back memories of Mom because she loved a good bargain.  She could spot the good stuff. One of my favorite outfits as a kid came from the Goodwill, the cutest brown white and blue plaid skirt with suspender straps.  Of course, as a child, I didn’t want to tell anyone that it came from Goodwill.  Now, if I find a bargain at Goodwill I want pats on the back! Remind me once this series is over to tell you about the beautiful Scottish plaid jacket we found for Rocky (haha, can’t wait to share).

After our stint in Goodwill, I stopped in at Hobby Lobby to find a pretty binder and protector sheets for Mom’s handwritten poetry.  I want to type all of her poems and make copies for the family, but I also want to preserve her original copies as well as other snippets of writing that I have found.  We are lucky to have her poetry as we thought they had been lost.

In 2010 she came to stay with me after surgery and she brought her poetry with her.  We were going to type up her poems, but life got in the way and we didn’t.  After she went back home I never saw her poetry again until last year. For seven years we had no clue where they were and Mom couldn’t remember where she put them.  Last summer we started going through her crates of school papers and there they were buried in with worksheets and notebooks where she had evidently hidden them for safekeeping. I put them in a safe place with intentions of finally typing them up. That is my next project once the 31-day writing challenge is over.

When we arrived home at the end of our day, we ate a bowl of chili.  This too reminds me of Mom because when I was about ten years old she taught me how to make chili.  It is the first thing I remember cooking and to this day I make it pretty much the way she taught me.

In a little while, I will eat a bowl of ice cream and be reminded of all the times Mom and I would sneak off to Dairy Queen without telling Dad and Rocky.  We’d go through the drive-through then find a pleasant spot to park the car and enjoy our treat.

Today was exactly the kind of day that Mom would have enjoyed.  I think I’ll add an extra scoop of ice cream just for her!

Simple pleasures are best.

Alan Bradley

 

Grace for the journey,

Teresa

Come back tomorrow for more of the journey?  Just a reminder that I usually post later in the day. Clicking on the ladybug graphic will take you to the first page in this series with links to the daily posts. Thanks for reading!

Blank Square Pin (1)

The Rainbow

~ Teresa ~ 5 Comments

Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail.
 They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Journal – Thoughts from September 26, 2018:

The day we took Mom to hospice my cousin Patsy was with us.  She was a great support to us, not just during hospice, but from the beginning of the Alzheimer’s journey.  She is still in our corner and I am thankful for her.  We tell her she is the oldest child, Mom’s first child as Mom helped care for her when she was a baby.  She calls to check on us and she has come down to spend time with my father.  I don’t think we could handle this journey without her.

Patsy had a place in Mom’s heart long before she had her own children. Which is why I tell Patsy she is the older sister.

Patsy stayed with Mom that first night in Hospice while I took Dad home.  It had rained earlier and as we were driving home there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky.  A reminder of God’s faithfulness.  I knew it was a message for us that all would be well. I remember going to bed that night praying for God to be with Mom and for his will to be done.  I was hoping for some kind of miracle; hoping that the x-ray they were taking would show nothing broken even though we’d already been told that it was more than likely. Still, I was finding hope in a rainbow.

The next morning when we arrived back at hospice the doctor came in and confirmed our worst fears, that she was, in fact, suffering from a terminal injury.  I remember letting the news sink in and going a little numb.  No matter how much you are told in advance, you are never truly prepared for the moment when you have to face the inevitable.  We made calls to the family and prepared to stay by her side for as long as she was with us.

That second evening my Dad planned to stay and Patsy was going to go back home with me.  Before we left we ran out to get dinner for my dad.  On the way to the restaurant once again there was a rainbow in the sky.  Another promise.  This time I knew the promise did not hold a miracle this side of heaven but instead was a reminder that God is faithful, even in death. It was something to hold on to. He would give us new mercies.

When we knew that Mom would not be coming home again and that we’d need to be making arrangements for a service, Dad said he wanted one of Mom’s poems to be put on the memorial card and read at her service.  While looking through her poetry I came across one she’d written in 1974 called, The Rainbow.  It was the only choice because God had already pointed it out to us in the sky.

The Rainbow - Bernice Tackett. take 2. edited

Grace for the journey,

Teresa

Rainbow picture credit: Photo by Frans Van Heerden from Pexels

Come back tomorrow for more of the journey?  Just a reminder that I usually post later in the day. Clicking on the ladybug graphic will take you to the first page in this series with links to the daily posts. Thanks for reading!

Blank Square Pin (1)

Apples and Wings

~ Teresa ~ 6 Comments

Keep me as the apple of your eye; Hide me in the shadow of your wings Psalm 17:8 NIV

When someone says you are the apple of their eye it means they love you very much and may even dote on you a little. I like the image of being the apple of God’s eyes, but I love being in the shadow of his wings even more.  The past few days I have felt a renewed sense of peace and knowing that God is watching over me.  Writing about my grief and sharing memories of Mom has helped me see things from a better perspective.  God has been faithful in this process and my desire is for my words to honor him.

red apples
Photo by Elizabeth Tr. Armstrong on Pexels.com

This is harvest time and that means apples.  I can’t think of a better image for this time of year than sitting under the shadow of an apple tree eating a crisp, juicy apple knowing that God sees me as the apple of his eye and hides me under his wings.

I was talking with a friend yesterday who was on her way to the Apple Orchard.  It brought back memories of Mom.  I remember when she would go to the Orchard and bring home a bag of Apples.  More often than not it was a bag of Courtland Apples, which was one of our favorites.  I can taste one now a perfect blend of sweet and tart. Deep red skin and pristine white flesh.

Mom loved apples.  She kept them around and they were a go-to snack.  In recent years Dad made sure he kept apples for her.  Sometimes knowing what she’d eat or could eat was a challenge,  but we could pretty much count on apples.  When she no longer seemed to enjoy eating them we switched to Apple juice which she loved.

One of the challenges with Alzheimer’s is knowing if they are eating enough.  Some foods become more difficult and at some point feeding themselves is more of a challenge.  So we tried to keep finger foods that we thought Mom would enjoy and when necessary we fed her.  Towards the last of her journey, she needed more help with eating.  She had a wonderful caregiver who came in a couple days a week.  She would feed Mom and spoil her a little bit.  But we didn’t mind. One of the last things I did for my mom was to feed her a meal I had cooked.  She mmmm’d appreciatively, which is how we knew she really liked something. I was happy to feed her and she was happy to eat.

I  remember seeing Mom walk down my back sidewalk many times, on her way to my house, apple in hand, munching contentedly, or standing on her back porch eating an apple staring into the yard thinking her own thoughts.

She won’t be going to the orchard this year, but I imagine God has plenty of Apple trees in his backyard. My Dad remarked that he figured one of the first things she did when she got to Heaven was pick an apple to eat.  I’m sure she did right after she ran into Jesus’s arms.

Maybe I’ll find an orchard this weekend, buy a bag of apples, and eat one in memory of my sweet Ladybug. I’ll rejoice that she is indeed The apple of God’s eye and that she has found healing under his wings.

Grace for the journey,

Teresa

 

Come back tomorrow for more of the journey?  Just a reminder that I usually post later in the day. Clicking on the ladybug graphic will take you to the first page in this series with links to the daily posts. Thanks for reading!

Blank Square Pin (1)