John 15:4

Update: If you are here from the Lettered Cottage, Welcome! This is part two of a two part wrap-up and new beginning post that also includes my word for 2013. You may want to start with Part 1. Thanks for visiting and please feel free to leave a comment!

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When I started my out with the old, in with the new, state of Sadie address yesterday, I had no idea the direction it would take. I had jotted down some random thoughts earlier in the week and had caught up on several blogs which gave me food for thought. I basically meant to do a little discourse about my 2012 word and introduce you to my 2013 word(s) and my thoughts about that and lessons learned and so forth. You get the gist. I just thought I’d serve up something clever and be on my merry way into 2013.

What I wasn’t prepared for was the depth of emotion that looking back welled up in me. In looking back at 2012 I had to actually dip into 2011 for it to make sense. Everything just came together in one big blur. I say blur because I actually cried. I wasn’t expecting the tears or the path I found myself on, but I went with it. I figured it needed to be said, at least for my benefit and since only about five people besides me read my blog I thought maybe I could be indulged.

I don’t apologize for yesterday’s rather long post or the content because it did help clarify some things for me. And I think it was necessary for me to deal with the emotions in order to move on. I realized that over the past few years I have gone through some things (who hasn’t?) in a way that got through them, but didn’t actually deal with them. They were filed to sort through later. I also realized that in October of 2012 I began dealing with them in a non-planned sort of way. I think the cracks in the dam finally gave way and I had no choice.

I came to realize that I had to totally depend on God and trust Him for everything, which led me to the epiphany that I had to rest in him, wait on him, trust in him, and listen for his truth. Of course I knew all this, but it sank deeper into my soul and found roost.

Around this same time, I remember reading John 15:4 – “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” The word “remain” lodged in my heart and my first thought was that this would be my word for 2013. It would be a reminder to rest, wait, trust and listen. I even wrote it on my kitchen chalkboard wall to remind me, so it sort of became a word for me in 2012 too, along with Joy.

I think Joy will still linger in 2013; Remain will definitely be big this year and I’m pretty sure a word lover like myself cannot be satisfied with just one word, so stay tuned. I am excited about the possibilities for 2013 – to grow, to learn, to heal, to discover words, but most importantly – to remain.