If We Live

Little House 010.1

“Because I could not stop for Death,
He kindly stopped for me;
The carriage held but just ourselves
                                     And Immortality. ”                                                                                                                          Emily Dickinson

We live our lives in fragmented pieces and unfinished sentences.  We struggle to be what we think we are supposed to be – what we think others expect of us. We listen to the cacophony of voices around us clamoring to be heard and forget to stop and listen for the one, still voice that matters.

Some die too young while they’re right in the middle of the clamor, and they leave other’s to figure out the pieces of their lives.  I believe if they could come back they would tell us to forget the pieces, forget the chaos, forget expectations of others.  Instead, they would tell us to slow down, let the sentences be finished.  Listen to the one who knows us best.

Soul living begins with listening to the still voice in the quiet of our heart.  It requires a down slowing and an attitude of waiting, of clinging to the good and settling into peace. Making room for love and living.  Realizing that living your faith, making time for others, savoring the everyday is far better than existing to chase a dream that you can’t take with you.

Since the first of the year, it seems that we have had one funeral home visitation upon another.  A couple of these were men who died too young.  Both my age, one in a car accident and one in his sleep.  Both Christian men who loved their families.  Seeing them in pictures with their families and hearing others speak about them was a testimony of lives well lived.  Lives that made room for love and living.

Death is no respecter of age, and it will come to all.  When my time comes, I want those left behind to be able to say that I listened to the Still Voice, that I settled into the Peace that only he can give. I want them to see the finished sentences.  I want them to know they were loved by my living.

Little House 010.2

Living in Grace,

Sadie

Advertisements

end of the old, beginning of the new (part 2)

Update: If you are here from the Lettered Cottage, Welcome!  This is part two of a two part wrap-up and new beginning post that also includes my word for 2013.  You may want to start with Part 1. Thanks for visiting and please feel free to leave a comment!

*********************************************************

When I started my out with the old, in with the new, state of Sadie address yesterday, I had no idea the direction it would take.  I had jotted down some random thoughts earlier in the week and had caught up on several blogs which gave me food for thought.  I basically meant to do a little discourse about my 2012 word and introduce you to my 2013 word(s) and my thoughts about that and lessons learned and so forth.  You get the gist.  I just thought I’d serve up something clever and be on my merry way into 2013.

020.2

What I wasn’t prepared for was the depth of emotion that looking back welled up in me.  In looking back at 2012 I had to actually dip into 2011 for it to make sense.  Everything just came together in one big blur.  I say blur because I actually cried.  I wasn’t expecting the tears or the path I found myself on, but I went with it.  I figured it needed to be said, at least for my benefit and since only about five people besides me read my blog I thought maybe I could be indulged.

I don’t apologize for yesterday’s rather long post or the content because it did help clarify some things for me.  And I think it was necessary for me to deal with the emotions in order to move on.  I realized that over the past few years I have gone through some things (who hasn’t?) in a way that got through them, but didn’t actually deal with them.  They were filed to sort through later.  I also realized that in October of 2012 I began dealing with them in a non-planned sort of way.  I think the cracks in the dam finally gave way and I had no choice.

I came to realize that I had to totally depend on God and trust Him for everything, which led me to the epiphany that I had to rest in him, wait on him, trust in him, and listen for his truth.  Of course I knew all this, but it sank deeper into my soul and found roost.

Around this same time, I remember reading John 15:4 – “Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.”  The word “remain” lodged in my heart and my first thought was that this would be my word for 2013.  It would be a reminder to rest, wait, trust and listen.  I even wrote it on my kitchen chalkboard wall to remind me, so it sort of became a word for me in 2012 too, along with Joy.

100_1425.2
I think Joy will still linger in 2013; Remain will definitely be big this year and I’m pretty sure a word lover like myself cannot be satisfied with just one word, so stay tuned.  I am excited about the possibilities for 2013 – to grow, to learn, to heal, to discover words, but most importantly – to remain.

Remaining in Grace,

Sadie

Little House.football.apartment 101.2

Are you choosing a word for 2013?

Join others to share your word

Days 12-15 – Weekend Rewind and Moving Forward

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight                                                                                                                                    Proverbs 3:5-6

Obviously I didn’t post for a few days, which means I didn’t write.  On Friday I probably would have late in the day, but yet again, my Friday was interrupted by circumstances that threw me into a tailspin.  This time it was a horse of a different color, but nevertheless, it is a situation that would be in the top two on my angst list.

It made me feel out of control and helpless.  And I learned something about myself.  1.) I really have control issues. 2.) I find it really hard to let go of things. 3.) I allow things that aren’t in my control to derail me. (I’m sure I already knew this, but it really hit home to me and I need to say it out loud.)

I also came to the conclusion that God is challenging me, through my circumstances, to give up all control to him in these situations.  I know I need to and I honestly have been trying.  Just when I think I have, something new develops and I derail.  It has taken me most of the weekend to gain perspective.

Because of circumstances and the derailing I didn’t write.  I put something I’m passionate about on hold, due to a temporary (hopefully) circumstance that I have no control over. I realized that this is a pattern that has happened before – I’m too ready to throw in the towel and sabotage myself when I feel helpless or out of control.

The situation is what it is, God is still in control (so I don’t have to be), and my role is to Wait on him.  To trust him.  To rest in him.  To listen to him.  He has this.

My role is to move forward with purpose.

Moving on in Grace,

Sadie

PS – What about you, do you ever derail when a situation makes you feel out of control?  How do you gain perspective?