Mark 6:31

100_4173.2

Today has been a quiet, rest day as most Monday’s are. Several years ago when I was still working public work, the company I worked for moved us to four day weeks and my day off was Monday. So, I developed a habit of Monday being my chill day. We eventually went back to five days, but now that I’m no longer working I’ve once again made Monday my day to catch up on rest.

My husband is in ministry so Sunday’s are very busy days for us and not the sabbath rest so sorely needed. I’m usually exhausted after the weekend, so Monday to the rescue. In the spirit of resting, I’ve laid aside some of the deep thinking and sorting for later. I have a list of things I want to share with you. Some things I’ve made notes about, but the time for sharing is not yet. I’m living this in real time, so I have to respect each day as it comes.

After committing to the thirty-one-day writing challenge, A Journey Through Grief, I am more convinced than ever that it was the right thing to do. The writing I have shared and some that I have not shared yet has been therapeutic. Writing down my thoughts helps me see a clearer picture of where things stand. It helps me gauge how I’m doing.

Talking to people is also therapeutic and last night my writer’s group at church gave me a safe place to pour out my heart. It reaffirmed some of the writing and helped me put things in perspective. It was a safe place to share some of my deepest grief. I can’t urge you enough to find a safe person or group to share your grief with. We thrive so much better in community than we do alone.

My first instinct is always to close the door, curl up in the fetal position and hide under the covers and for a time that might work. But not for the long haul. For the long haul, we need friends who support us and will come along beside us. They don’t have to fix us or make us understand, that is not their job. Their job is to listen when needed and give hugs when necessary. I’ve been blessed with friends who have done just that. Sometimes in person, sometimes via text or phone conversation and always through their prayers. And most recently, you dear reader have let me know you hear me and that has made me glad to share with you. I hope my sharing has been a service to you and helped you in some way.

Hoping that Monday has been kind to you and that you too find time during the week to rest and allow your soul to be filled with His peace.

100_4469.2

Grace for the journey,

Teresa

Come back tomorrow for more of the journey? Just a reminder that I usually post later in the day. Clicking on the ladybug graphic will take you to the first page in this series with links to the daily posts. Thanks for reading!

I did not choose a word for 2015. I did not set goals, or make resolutions, or sum up my blog or give a state of the blog address or list my most read post of the previous year. I did not usher in the New Year with any kind of fanfare.

So far, this has been the year of Not. So, I guess you could say in my non-conformist ways of not doing so many things that other bloggers seem to do and that I have done in the past, I inadvertently chose the word “not” for my 2015 word. Except, I did not.

“Why not?” you may ask. I don’t know. I haven’t even written on my blog since December 31, when I wrote an end of the year “what I learned” post about Rearranging Furniture so I could link up with Emily over at Chatting At The Sky. So, I guess you could say that I sort of did a year end summary. I’ve done these “what I learned” posts before though, so just following my norm. I don’t think it counts or reverses my not’s in any way.

So, here’s the thing. I want to write. Truly, I do. I write things in my head all the time. Almost everything that comes into my world has potential for an essay or story of some kind, so the words are always at the ready, so to speak. For some reason, I haven’t been. Ready.

There could be a reason for this, or maybe it just is. Maybe it’s the season in which I find myself currently residing. Maybe it’s fear that I don’t really have anything to say. Maybe it’s exhaustion. Maybe it’s unanswered questions. Maybe I need to find my sense of place.

All I know is that it seems to be a season of unwritten words that float on the outskirts of my mind, just out of reach of pen to paper, or more accurately, finger tips to keyboard. It doesn’t feel like it’s going to end any time soon. Or, I suppose, it could end tomorrow. Either way, I have decided to embrace this journey of “not” and see what it’s about. I am not going to fight “nothing”. I am just going to rest and see what develops. Or, not.

So, I think this means, in case you haven’t already noticed, that I’m taking a blogging break. There, I said it. I’m taking a blogging break. I don’t know for how long. And, I don’t exactly know why. I hope there is a purpose and it’s not just laziness. I hope I figure out some things about my writing, or about me, while I’m not blogging. And, I hope you don’t forget about me because I won’t forget about you, the few, who read my words.

It seems silly to worry that I’ll lose you in the lull, and it seems even sillier, to let the fear of losing you be the reason I don’t take a break, when a break is clearly called for. I have to trust that when the words are ready to be read you will welcome me back.

In the meantime, please know that I value you and the time you have given to reading my words and encouraging me along the way. Some of you are silent readers behind the scenes; Some of you are friends and family I’ve known a long time, others are people I’ve met through this fascinating world of blogging and you have become true friends. I will not forget you and even though I’m on break I will still be reading your blogs or seeing you on Facebook.

I haven’t laid down my pen for good and my hope is that there will still be words put to paper while I’m on break. I hope there are words written that I can someday share with you. I appreciate being kept in your prayers while I am on hiatus.