Nodding to the Not

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I did not choose a word for 2015.  I did not set goals, or make resolutions, or sum up my blog or give a state of the blog address or list my most read post of the previous year.  I did not usher in the New Year with any kind of fanfare.

So far, this has been the year of Not.  So, I guess you could say in my non-conformist ways of not doing so many things that other bloggers seem to do and that I have done in the past, I inadvertently chose the word “not” for my 2015 word.  Except, I did not.

“Why not?”  you may ask.  I don’t know.  I haven’t even written on my blog since December 31, when I wrote an end of the year “what I learned” post about Rearranging Furniture so I could link up with Emily over at Chatting At The Sky.  So, I guess you could say that I sort of did a year end summary. I’ve done these “what I learned” posts before though, so just following my norm.  I don’t think it counts or reverses my not’s in any way.

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So, here’s the thing.  I want to write.  Truly, I do.  I write things in my head all the time.  Almost everything that comes into my world has potential for an essay or story of some kind, so the words are always at the ready, so to speak.  For some reason, I haven’t been. Ready.

There could be a reason for this, or maybe it just is.  Maybe it’s the season in which I find myself currently residing.  Maybe it’s fear that I don’t really have anything to say.  Maybe it’s exhaustion.  Maybe it’s unanswered questions. Maybe I need to find my sense of place.

All I know is that it seems to be a season of unwritten words that float on the outskirts of my mind, just out of reach of pen to paper, or more accurately, finger tips to keyboard.  It doesn’t feel like it’s going to end any time soon.  Or, I suppose, it could end tomorrow. Either way, I have decided to embrace this journey of “not” and see what it’s about.  I am not going to fight “nothing”.  I am just going to rest and see what develops.  Or, not.

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So, I think this means, in case you haven’t already noticed, that I’m taking a blogging break.  There, I said it. I’m taking a blogging break.  I don’t know for how long.  And, I don’t exactly know why.  I hope there is a purpose and it’s not just laziness.  I hope I figure out some things about my writing, or about me, while I’m not blogging.  And, I hope you don’t forget about me because I won’t forget about you, the few, who read my words.

It seems silly to worry that I’ll lose you in the lull, and it seems even sillier, to let the fear of losing you be the reason I don’t take a break, when a break is clearly called for.  I have to trust that when the words are ready to be read you will welcome me back.

In the meantime, please know that I value you and the time you have given to reading my words and encouraging me along the way.  Some of you are silent readers behind the scenes; Some of you are friends and family I’ve known a long time, others are people I’ve met through this fascinating world of blogging and you have become true friends.  I will not forget you and even though I’m on break I will still be reading your blogs or seeing you on Facebook.

I haven’t laid down my pen for good and my hope is that there will still be words put to paper while I’m on break.  I hope there are words written that I can someday share with you.  I appreciate being kept in your prayers while I am on hiatus.

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Nodding in Grace,

Teresa

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19 thoughts on “Nodding to the Not

  1. I love this grace you’re giving yourself, Teresa. Sometimes we just KNOW we should do something, even if we don’t have all the reasons labeled from A – Z. And we do well in honoring that still small voice of God that beckons us to something deeper …

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  2. Teresa, I stopped by from Chatting at the Sky today and I’m so glad I did. I love that you’re embracing the “not” rather than running from it. I also love the warm tone of your words and am delighted to discover your blog, even as you’re stepping away for a moment. In my few minutes of perusing, I see there is much here to enjoy and be blessed by in the meantime. Hugs and prayers to you in this season of rest.

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    1. Tarissa, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. I will be back to write again, but in the meantime, I do hope you come back and browse around. You will find a hodge podge of writing, but hopefully some of it will speak to you! I find a lot of blogs I enjoy reading, through the link-ups or comments over at Chatting at the Sky. It’s a great community. I look forward to checking out your blog too – that introverted word got me, as I too am an introvert.

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  3. i’ve had lots of words at the ready too. i’ve even put pen to paper to get them out, but they’ve not taken on a form that would be understood by anyone but my Word Giver and me. i’ve been telling myself to trust the process and to be gentle and patient with myself-and that when there are words that are meant to be shared on my blog-they will come and i will know.

    in the mean time i will pray for you and for me and wait- ready to read when you return and write when i do!

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  4. I understand this completely. I’ve taken countless blogging breaks and am still sort of not writing. I hope that God will meet you in a powerful way as you rest.

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  5. Upon your return to sharing your thoughts and words, I will be reading. In the meantime, this came to me while reading your blog today…”Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10. May He continue to fill your heart and mind with His love and words during this time!

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    1. Thanks so much – I love that verse – it has come to my attention a lot lately, so seeing it here again today reminds me that sometimes being still is important. It is all his and when the time is right, I’ll be back.

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    1. Thanks, Faith – hope to do some exploring of what comes next. Writing is part of me, so pretty sure it’s not going away forever. Your support has been appreciated.

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  6. You WILL be missed – and you WILL be welcomed back…I am in a kind of lull myself! I am trying to finish the 21 Days of Journaling in January that I’m linking up via Random Journal Days; but the others I am having trouble putting together.

    I totally understand the break you need to take – and you deserve!!

    Looking forward to when you come back! And I WILL remember you in my prayers!

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